When I get my hands on Murphy....

February 22 - Happy Birthday Dad

2007-02-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

(n)numb: 1 : devoid of sensation especially as a result of cold or anesthesia 2 : devoid of emotion : INDIFFERENT - numb transitive verb - numb·ly /'n&m-lE/ adverb - numb·ness noun

Both apply today. Happy 69th daddy. I miss you. Still.

Thanks Boo, I Owe You One

2007-01-25T02:05:00.000-07:00

Last week was a rough week, we all three were down sick for what seemed like forever. Here's an interesting event during one of those nights, not sure which one as they all ran together eventually.. . . . . . . . . .I'm laying on my couch, trying to catch some zzzz's in the middle of a restless night, as I often try to do, and had evidently, finally, dozed off. I remember having a dream, and for once, a pleasant one, because I was visiting with my brother Wayne. I remember all of a sudden realizing that he looked so fresh, so young, so healthy, and HAPPY. I remember being overcome with a sense of relief to see him in this state. We exchanged some pleasantries and it felt so good to visit with him. He then proceeded to tell me I needed to wake up. I refused, not wanting to leave my dream. YOU NEED TO WAKE UP! Ok, ok. . . OK! I'll wake up. Good thing too, I was shaking like a leaf, sicker than usual. Decided I'd better check my blood sugar. Hmmm, it's 37. Thanks Boo. I owe you one.

Y.M.C.A.

2006-11-16T01:43:00.000-07:00

No, not the song by the Village Fags. The one down the street from my house. We've been having fun hangin' out at the Y, and the boys are really turning into fish. They always have been. . . . . but they have stepped it up a notch. BB loves to do flips off the diving board now, and LB is even braving the big slide.

And, now don't faint, I've actually started walking on the treadmill. I can finally wear a shoe for over an hour and decided to start walking. I'm only up to about 3 times a week, but that's better than 0 like it has been for over a year. I guess the incentive of possibly having to have my little toe amputated has helped too. The scar tissue has built up so bad in the toe I had the bone removed in, that if I don't get blood flowing in there better, they're gonna take it off. Not gonna happen. Not on my watch!

YES M'aam!!

2006-11-16T01:33:00.001-07:00

Well, I was certainly put in my place on Sunday! Miss Precious here, otherwise known as Sweet Girl let me have it!

I attended my sister's ward on Sunday because they were performing their Primary Program and 1.) she needed help watching Little Man during the program since she was in charge, and 2.) Miss Sweet Girl was singing a duet with mommy and I wanted to be there!

Ok, Sweet Girl and I have this thing where we tease each other, and I guess, maybe sometimes I go too far. Who, me?? lol - Anyway, her favorite song is "Scripture Power" and every time she sings it to me I make up silly words to go in the place of the real words. It's a tradition. She always has a good giggle out of it. Or so I thought........

As she got up from the pew to go sit with the Primary for the program, she put her cute little finger in my face and said to me: "I am glad you are here, insert my name, because we are singing Scripture Power and it is my favorite song and you need to learn the right words, cuz you ALWAYS sing it wrong!!!! Now LISTEN, ok?"

My only response I could think of was, "Yes, Maam!"

Proud Momma

2006-11-16T00:54:00.000-07:00

Just me, braggin again. Both the boys received awards at the 1st Quarter Awards Assembly last Friday at school. BB came away with the Citizenship Award and LB received an Academic Achievement Award. Way to go boys!

Also, have to give LB his props - he competed in his first "Turkey Shoot" Saturday put on by the local Parks & Rec. Depts. It's a free-throw competition. He placed 2nd in his age group. He received a gift certificate worth $10 towards a program at the Parks & Rec. Dept., which worked out great since he had already asked to sign up to play basketball in February. BB competed too and did a good job, he made 50% of his shots, which I am proud of, he just had a larger group of boys to compete against, and against boys who have been playing for a longer time. He had a game Saturday morning in which he made 4 baskets and he was on cloud 9 from that.

Pumpkinocide

2006-11-02T23:20:00.000-07:00

Well, they finally graduated to flying solo on the jack-o-laterns! Not bad for first-timers I think. And they got to be lit on the front porch for a grand total of about 30 minutes....lol. I guess you have to be home more than an hour a day to be traditional. Oh well, they had fun!! I should have taken a picture of the inch of sprinkles on the floor after they were finished decorating the Halloween cookies!!

Happy Halloween: Priceless

2006-11-02T22:53:00.000-07:00

1st Devil mask purchased in September: $1.00

2nd better Devil mask purchased in October: $6.99

Devil trident: 1.99

Material to make Devil cape: $4.99

Time spent making Devil cape: 1 hour

Red sweatshirt: $4.99

Red spray for Devil hair: $1.99

Devil changing his mind one hour before trick-or-treating

to be a ninja for the third year in a row: PRICELESS

Bittersweet Pumpkins

2006-10-22T04:21:00.000-06:00

Perhaps I should explain. . . .

Today we carried out a tradition that has been going on for over 1o years. My parents started the tradition of taking all the grandchildren to the pumpkin patch before my boys were born. It has been an event that has been looked forward to with great anticipation every year by the children. Even the adults have fun.

Two years ago when Dad passed away, the last family get-together we had was the visit to the pumpkin patch, just 3 days before he died.

So, last year was a bit of a struggle, but we went. His absence was painfully noted by all. So, this year, we thought maybe we'd try a different pumpkin patch, to try to switch things up a bit. The kids all had a great time, but, once again, we found ourselves feeling that huge void. And, as if that weren't bad enough, we spent a good part of the day trying to coordinate the details of how to attend my aunt's funeral this Tuesday in Port Townsend, Washington. Like I said, bittersweet.

This week has been a hard week. Tuesday I found out that one of my uncles has just been diagnosed with cancer. Wednesday I found out that a very close uncle has cancer that has returned. Thursday was the 2 yr. anniversary of Dad's passing. Friday morning, my aunt passed away. Today, the pumpkin patch.

I think tomorrow I am going to burrow deep under my blankets and stay there!!

Goodbye Aunt Jo

2006-10-21T03:47:00.000-06:00

This morning (October 20th) I received one of those phone calls.

My dear Aunt Georgia passed away this morning at 7:30 a.m. She has been ill for years, but was recently doing better. One of those things where it isn't a big surprise, but was very unexpected to me. I didn't even know she had been back in the hospital again. I guess her liver had finally had enough. Funny thing is I haven't talked to them for a long time, but at 3:30 this morning had tried to send them an e-mail (a link to this blog so they could keep abreast of the kid's activities) and it came back to me as undeliverable. Probably for the best considering the timing it would have been received in.

I'll always remember Aunt Jo for her laughter, her ability to make any one feel at home, and her cheery outlook on life. She was a sweet person and I always hoped I would be like her when I grew up. Visits from Jim & Jo were always looked forward to with great anticipation. It always meant there would be an evening full of laughs and good times. Jim lovingly referred to my 2 sons as "the little Turks."

God bless you and keep you till we meet again Aunt Jo. You will be missed. Try not to get into too much trouble with Dad, ok? I love you.

A love note to Heaven

2006-10-19T22:40:00.000-06:00

Well, here we are . . . . two years later. Already. And yet, it was just yesterday, wasn't it?

I miss you so much Dad. I don't know who coined the phrase that it gets easier with time, because that is a flat-out lie. If anything, it gets harder. I still expect to see you following Mom through a door, or sitting in the driver's seat when I pass a tan Park Avenue, or to hear your voice when I call your house. And when the harsh reality of your absence brings me crashing back to that horrible day, it rips the scabs off the wounds (as if they would ever get to heal anyway...).

I let BB and LB stay home from school today. They heard we were getting the family together to have lunch and visit and then go together to the cemetary to pay our respects and it was very important to them to come. They made sweet pictures to lay on your grave, both of them of lighthouses. They also picked out some funny-faced pumpkins they thought you would enjoy. And, in keeping with tradition there were Peeps, a chocolate-covered marshmallow pumpkin, and a Snickers bar. Then, they wrote on some balloons that they love you and they miss you and released them at your grave, hoping they would make it to you in Heaven. I wish I still had that naivity and innocense. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe it hurts more. I don't know. All I know, is that I'm 42 years old and I still need my Daddy.

Gee, must be picture day tomorrow!

2006-10-18T01:41:00.000-06:00

Ok, this tooth has been loose for the last six months. Then, about two weeks ago, it got really loose. Then, about 4 days ago, it was ready. Yesterday, LB comes home from school elated, "Look mom, I can push it out with my tongue!!" His tooth was protruding from his mouth. Ok, school pictures are tomorrow, let's leave it alone and it will come out in the next few days.

About 7 p.m. BB comes running in to where I was. . ."Mommy, LB is bleeding." In the background I can hear LB crying, the "freak-out" cry he has when he sees blood. About that time he comes running in, his face is covered in blood, his shirt is covered with blood, his hands and arms are covered with blood. From way too much experience in this department, I know that mouths bleed...a lot. So I try to calm him down, I get a towel and dob the blood so I can see what's going on. I thought he had split his lip or something. BB says something about not doing it on purpose and LB is muttering something about an elbow to the face. Well, it wasn't a split lip, his tooth was in the palm of his hand. I couldn't believe he bled that much from a tooth coming out. Granted, it didn't come out on it's own, but it was really ready. I was surprised.

So, I get him all cleaned up and calmed down, and he is growing excited at the anticipation of the tooth fairy. All is good in his world again. I clean up his tooth and put it in a baggy for him to put under his pillow.

Morning comes, he reaches under his pillow and finds the tooth fairy has left him something special this time, a Sacajewea dollar coin. He is THRILLED. . . . till breakfast when he somehow managed to drop it down the heating vent.

I swear....

And away we go....

2006-10-18T01:07:00.000-06:00

Well, football is finally over....now on to basketball. BB had his last game on Saturday and then the team party was Saturday night at a local pizza parlor. There were 17 players on his team, so you can imagine the havoc we reaked on that place with all their families added in to the picture. But, the boys all had a wonderful time. The coaches got together and gave me a very sweet gift as a thank you for being the team mom (again), a beautiful candle and a porcelain plate that reads, "All the love you give away returns to fill your heart each day."

BB had his first basketball practice tonight already and coach was very impressed with how much he has improved since last year. Go BB! He even made a couple of "nothin' but net" shots. What can I say, he gets it from me (lol).

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to Chuck E. Cheese!

2006-10-13T15:09:00.000-06:00

Our trip to Lagoon's Frightmares was a huge hit with the kids. Even though we got rained on, we all had a great time. The short lines made up for getting a little wet (hey, we get wet in the summer there on purpose anyway, right?).

HOWEVER. . . . . .

Darkness fell. And, after all, it WAS Frightmares! The ZOMBIES came out. And they were armed with chainsaws. Now, mind you, LB has had a fear of anything in a costume, mascots, etc., since he was a toddler. Not just scared, terrified! He was even scared of Chuck E. Cheese! We finally outgrew that this year. Or, so I thought. . . . .

I literally had to carry him out of the theme park trembling. He would start screaming, "NO, NO, NO!!!" if one even looked in his direction! He actually had all of them in our vicinity standing still and waving, their heads tilted and shoulders hunched up they felt so bad for him.

Looks like Disneyland is back to being a distant dream. . . .(sigh)

Hard to believe.....

2006-10-12T05:41:00.000-06:00

I can't believe that this is the same young boy who, it seems just yesterday, was telling me that a bra might bring him superhero powers. Perhaps I should explain.....

When BB was about 5 we were shopping in Wal-Mart and I was looking in the "lingerie" department for a new bra. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed he would occasionally, very sheepishly, reach out and feel the fabric of one as I moved down the aisle.

After about the third time, I caught his eye and he blushed. I said, "Gee, BB, do you LIKE them?"

"Yeah, mom, they're kinda cool."

"Oh, really? Would you like me to buy you one?" Now, mind you I am fully expecting him to give me a dirty look and loudly proclaim his disgust at my suggestion. Instead, I hear.....

"Sure....I think it would make me feel powerful!

Do I need to mention how relieved I am that he is playing football and is not in ballet?

Give Me a "T" . . .

2006-10-07T01:28:00.000-06:00

LB came home from school the other day boasting about his new accomplishments for the day. I guess in his advanced time with a teacher's assistant in class, he has been learning sign language. He proceeded to show me various letters, words and phrases. He was soooo proud of himself! Then it happened. . ."Mom, look, this one is a T" . . . . I look down at his fist which is prominently displayed in front of me with his thumb between his middle and ring finger. I could not keep a straight face. I'm not certain about the accuracy of this, but I was always taught that this gesture was the sign language way of giving someone the bird, the big fliperoonie, the one-finger salute. He was disgusted with my laughter. I quickly bent down to his ear and whispered to him why I was caught off guard. His face turned beet-red as I showed him the correct gesture for the letter "T."

I doubt I will ever be able to listen to another cheerleader start with "Give me a T" again without bursting into laughter the rest of my life. Poor Kid!

Beauty Everlasting

2006-10-07T01:15:00.000-06:00

It will never matter how many times I get the opportunity to see the Salt Lake Temple, it will ALWAYS take my breath away.

After my last entry, not even an hour later, a trip to Utah was conceived and coordinated with my Uncle from University Place, WA. So I spent the next few hours running around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to get things in place to take a trip in the morning. I managed to accomplish miracles that afternoon. LOL. And so, Thursday morning (yesterday) we hit the road for Salt Lake City. We are staying at a hotel in Layton. The boys have been having a blast in the swimming pool. And, we are braving Lagoon tomorrow.....our first ever trip to "Frightmares." We are all really looking forward to it. Well, some of us more than others. LOL. At least it won't be 112 degrees out tomorrow. In fact, it may even be raining, I hope not.

Today we spent at the Conference Center and at Temple Square. I had never taken the tour inside the new Conference Center. . . it is amazing. Especially since we just watched General Conference a few short days ago.

The view from the roof is amazing. Then we crossed the street and spent some time at Temple Square. This is the first time in my life that I've been there when it wasn't the middle of summer. . . and it is STILL breathtaking! One of these days I'm going to come down at Christmas and see all the lights. I hear it is beautiful.

Well, since I am literally going on Night#5 without more than 2 hours of sleep, I think I will try to get a little rest before heading off to Lagoon in the morning. Hopefully I'll be able to download some of our pictures from this trip on here. . .Hey sis, you need to show me how to transfer to your new site that cooperates with you!

I'm Baaaaack!

2006-10-04T00:10:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it's been six months since my last entry!!! What a slacker! Oh yeah, wait, I've been busy....yeah, that's it, busy. Let's see....May, school got out....and then as I recall, all heck broke loose in my routine. We had a great summer though. We went to Lagoon twice, once with mom and my sister's crew, and once with my Uncle. We also managed to squeeze in a trip to the Canyon County Fair, The Caldwell Night Rodeo, The Western Idaho Fair, a trip to Connell, WA, to visit my great Aunt, and a week in McCall. I haven't gotten any film developed, but when I do, I will try to load pictures. We also had a lot of side trips to local sites and activities. The boys said it was their best summer ever. My nephew left on his mission to Tulsa, OK, in June. I went through the temple with him when he took out his endowments, which was an awesome experience I will write about another time. It was my first session in almost 15 years. It felt so wonderful to be back in the temple. I went to my niece's wedding in SLC Temple last July, but we didn't go through a session.

Then, in late July, I got the humble pleasure of contracting the West Nile Virus. Not a very welcomed visitor, let me tell ya. I am finally starting to feel better, but still get easily fatigued with much activity. I had a lot of problems early this summer again with my heart, but after some tests and playing around with my meds, they finally have a regimen worked out that seems to be helping. My diabetes, well, that's another story in itself. Still having sugar swings from 600 to 35. Never know from one hour to the next either. One day at a time is the best we can do. I have started seeing a NUCCA chiropractor and he has helped my neck problems quite a bit, when I make it over to Boise for the appointments, lol.

The boys are growing like weeds. I can't believe they are in 4th and 2nd grades. If time doesn't slow down, I'm going to protest. Not sure who will listen, but I will protest. They both have wonderful teachers this year. Progress reports came home last week and both the boys got straight A's and A+'s. They both love school and I couldn't be prouder of them.

BB is playing flag football, we are half-way through his season....and he will start basketball the Monday following his final game on a Saturday. That seems to keep us busier than almost anything else. Practice every other night of the week and games on Saturdays. Throw in cub scouts once a week and doctor's visits (he is seing a NUCCA chiropractor now because of injuries he sustained in our car accident a few years ago) twice a week, and I don't know how we get everything done. He is excelling in school already this year too. They just took their ISAT's and he scored advanced scores in all areas. His teacher says he is in the top 3% of his class in every subject. I can really tell a difference in his attitude this year having a teacher who is more with it (that's another story in itself....last year's teacher was brand spanking new and let's just say, she isn't teaching again this year).

LB isn't playing any sports right now but will start basketball in January. He is really looking forward to it. He has never signed up for basketball before. He got his first pair of glasses last week, wore them to school one day and lost them the next. I knew it was bound to happen, the boy would lose his nose if it wasn't attached to his face!! Luckily, his glasses turned up at school on Monday and his teacher sent them home in one piece. He is light years ahead of everyone in his class according to his teacher. Their reading fluency goal for his grade by the end of the school year is 120 and he started school at 205. And he is already working on next year's math. We don't have a gifted program at our new elementary school, so the teacher tries to keep him with extra work so he doesn't get bored. She has him working on advanced courses in the classroom. Gee, can you tell mommy is proud? lol.

I have decided to make a conscious effort to write here everyday. I am going to use this more as a journal than anything. So, if you are one of the unlucky people who happen across this blog, you might get pretty bored. It's not full of funnies or ingenious insights. . . . just my daily life.

I finally learned how to sell on E-bay which is something I've been wanting to try for years. I figured it out and sold the very first item I listed. So then I listed a few more, and sold almost all of those items. This last time I listed 21 items and have only sold 4 so far. But hey, it's a good way to clean out the garage, a little bit at a time.

Wow, there is an incredible lightening display outside right now and the rain is pounding against my window. First rain we've had in a long time! I guess the lightening means I should get off my computer, lol.

I actually did some canning last week and this week. I canned my first ever batch of chili sauce. It was a lot of work for 7 pints. It turned out so good though that I am going to can more this week. I put up 3 batches of peaches in the last 2 days. I feel so Betty Crocker. LOL. It is a very satisfying feeling though, I must say. It feels sort of nastalgic as well, as it brings back a lot of memories of canning with mom when I was a teenager. It all comes back to you. Who knew. I made spaghetti sauce with one of my jars of chili sauce tonight and both BB and his friend wanted to know if they could just eat a bowl of sauce for dinner it was so good. I'll take that as a compliment :-)

Well, I'm going to try to get some sleep, haven't slept in almost three nights now. Probably in pain from all the canning I guess. Getting old sucks. And yet, I wouldn't change a thing.

Only Six?

2006-04-30T03:53:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I've been "tagged" by Taffi to explain six reasons why I'm weird.

A. She's my sister....she already knows a lot more than six!
B. I'm supposed to limit myself to six? Where to start?
C. Why would I want to admit to any of it?

Ok, ok, I'll play your "weird" game.........

1. I'm an insomniac. It's 5 a.m. and I'm blogging about why I'm weird. Hmmmmm.

2. I'm a shopaholic. There. I said it. Nothing brings me out of the blues better than shopping. Except for seeing my babies. Combine the two, and you've hit a grand slam.

3. I'm addicted to 24. I'm a 24 girl. Kiefer, baby, I'm all yours, pant pant, slurp.

4. I live in a house. I should live in a motel; a place to sleep, shower, watch a little tv, all with built-in maid service!

5. All my dates in the last four years have come from online. Scary.

6. I can't remember the sixth one. I have memory loss.

Happy Birthday Auntie Beth!!

2006-04-30T03:31:00.000-06:00

My Aunt Beth and I share the same birthday. Except, this year she was turning 80.....while I remain 29......lol. Anyway, there was a surprise open house thrown in her honor in Olympia, Washington, and we crashed the party. What fun!!

It was a week ago and my soul is still overfilled with joy. I had the most wonderful time. I got to get reacquainted with cousins I hadn't seen for over 10 years. The most incredible thing was watching all of our children make instant friends and play outside on Grandpa's lawn the way we all did as children. What an awesome site. I still get teary eyed just thinking about it. Everything has changed so much, and yet the things that really matter have never changed at all.

Ooops.....

2006-04-30T03:19:00.000-06:00

I knew it would happen one of these days.......the kids beat the Easter Bunny up. I don't mean they beat him up, I mean they woke up before I managed to get my lazy behind out of bed and put out the baskets!! I almost blew Christmas stockings this past Christmas too. It really sucks getting old....lol.

I was awakened Easter morning by BB at 5:00 a.m........"Mommy, can I go see if the Easter Bunny came yet?" "No, sweetheart, go back to sleep." Ok, so that should have made me get out of bed and put out the baskets, but....well, maybe I'll just close my eyes for one more minute.......

9:00 a.m.: "Mommy, Mommy!! The Easter Bunny didn't come this year! He didn't bring us anything! I knew we stayed up too late! Dang it!" Now, lucky for me I had already put the baskets together and hid them in a closet in my bathroom. Ok, think quick mommy......

"Well you know what guys? I bet since you didn't go to bed on time he decided to play a trick on you. He did that to me once when I was a little girl. I wonder if he hid them somewhere?"

Their eyes lit up...."Really?".....and off they ran. Every cupboard and closet in the house was turned upside down in less than one minute flat!

Whew......that was a close one! (hehe, at least the Easter Bunny got the baskets made at my house unlike my sister who wasn't quite as lucky....her little one walked in on her with bags of candy and baskets in hand......he was just tooooo busy this year!)

Not in My World!!!

2006-04-15T21:32:00.000-06:00

This morning was a typical, hurry-up and get ready morning. Working on three hours of sleep, and 2 hours the night before that, I was pretty tired. I get grouchy when I'm tired and rushed. Go figure. Anyway, I took my shower and then woke up the boys to get in the shower. BB hit the shower first. He got out after about 10 minutes and as he was exiting the bathroom, LB was entering the bathroom for his shower. Now, mind you, LB has been down sick again with the flu and is not too amused about having to be up and out of the house this morning. He took his shower and wanted out much quicker than usual. He was complaining about a stomach ache. So as he was drying off and getting wrapped up in his towel, he tells me he is not feeling too hot again. He says, "Mom, I think the shower made me feel badder." BB overhears this and tries to correct him saying, "LB, there is no such word as "badder," it's "more bad" or "worse." LB replies, "Not in MY world!"

Too Cute

2006-04-11T01:50:00.000-06:00

LB lost his first tooth Saturday morning! It had been loose for about 4 days. He was learning how to do tricks with it with his tongue. He was so excited and wouldn't let me near it, as he was convinced I would yank it out. (Go figure!)

Saturday morning he came running into my room as excited as I had ever seen him. "Mommy, it came out, it came out!!" He held it up proudly for me to see.

The day was spent looking for the "lost tooth" off and on as he couldn't seem to leave it alone. About 10 p.m. he comes into my bathroom where I am brushing my teeth. "Mommy, oh Mommy........it dropped down the garbage disposal!!" "What dropped down the garbage disposal honey?" "My tooth! I was trying to rinse it off because I dropped it on the floor and I wanted to make it shiny and clean for the Tooth Fairy! Can you get it? Can you puhleeeease get it Mommy?"

Ok, think quick. What if you can't retrieve it? He will be forever crushed. Losing his first tooth (twice, lol). Down the garbage disposal of all places. (It was bad enough when we lost our frog down there, another story, another time.) So, I quickly went to my jewelry box where I have kept BB's first lost tooth for the past few years, waiting to put it in his baby book someday. I hid it in between my fingers on my left hand to magically produce a tooth in the event that LB's tooth had washed on down the drain. Luckily, I didn't have to do that. His tiny little tooth was sitting within view at the bottom of the disposal. I reached my hand down inside to try to get it out and I thought BB and LB were going to have a coronary!! "Mom, don't do it, it's just a tooth! It's not worth losing your hand over!!" How sweet I thought, just stay away from the switch!

I successfully rescued the tooth, rinsed it off, dried it, and put it back in the baggie he had been carting around all day. After all that drama, guess who fell asleep before he put it under his pillow? I think I was more disappointed than he was. I tried waking him up, put the baggie in his hand and guided his hand under his pillow to deposit the baggie. I'm sure he won't remember how it wound up under his pillow, but he will always remember that the Tooth Fairy came and he was very happy.

Whew! Next............

Must be doin' something right.........

2006-03-13T14:24:00.000-07:00

I have tasted the sweetness of motherhood. It's amazing how the little things make everything all worthwhile. Just when you feel like you can't take one more day of this chaos, they turn into little angels and you wonder how you ever felt so overwhelmed!

BB crawled into my bed the other night and layed his little head on my pillow next to mine. He put his hand on my cheek and whispered to me, "Mommy, you are the most precious thing in the world to me and I would do anything for you. I would give my life for you and my brother."

Not bad coming from the mouth of an 8 yr. old boy.

If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.....

2006-02-21T00:41:00.000-07:00

Well, this is the second time we've had to celebrate your birthday without you........ I think of all the things you've missed since you left so abruptly -- BB's baptism, BB's basketball, football and baseball games, LB's first day of first grade, his first attempt at sports (T-ball) ......birthdays, school programs, Easter egg hunts, Christmas trees, the pumpkin patch, and the infamous fight for the leg on Turkey day. I didn't even make parkerhouse rolls this year because you weren't here to enjoy them. (20 other people would have, but it just didn't seem the same.)

Dang it Dad, I miss you. The boys miss you. Not a day has gone by yet that they haven't remembered you in some sweet way. Like you dancing a jig in your new Scooby Doo boxers at Christmas. Or how handsome you always looked in your Sunday best. We can even remember how you always smelled by stealing a sniff from one of your old cologne bottles Grandma handed down.......

It's selfish, I know, but what I wouldn't give to have you back. You were taken so very suddenly from us......no chance for good-byes or I love you's. I guess I always thought you would live forever, even though you had been sick for 25 years. It just wasn't supposed to happen like this.

Happy Birthday Daddy. I love you. I miss you. I hope there are burgers in Heaven........

Ruled by Murphy's Law.....

2006-02-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

Ok...I am taking a huge leap from my "ignorance is bliss" lifestyle and joining the craze. Up until a few months ago I didn't even know what a "blog" was.......now, having just spent the past two hours reading my younger sister's blog entries for the past three months, I feel inspired and intrigued by all this. I have never laughed and cried so hard in a two hour period in my life. Unfortunately, I am not quite as eloquent or entertaining as she is but, hey, I am willing to give it a shot.

Now, about the title........as I am sure time will unfold, you will see that Murphy's Law has some obsession to ruling my life. Always has. Always will. I have learned to accept this and deal with it. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

As for a little background.....I'm a 41 yr. old single mother of two boys, ages 8 and 6. We live in suburbia. Walking distance to the elementary school and church. Typical various daily activities include PTO, room mom for both boys, taxiing kids to basketball, football or baseball practice, cub scouts, play dates......and the list goes on and on. I love to spend my free time (.....did I just say I have free time??) hangin' out with my sisters and friends having our "Ya-Ya" days. I enjoy scrapbooking, cooking, and most of all my kids.
Life is good...now.

I was married at age 20 to my high school sweetheart only to be told 2 yrs. into the marriage that he was in love with someone else.....the best man from our wedding. I found myself divorced six weeks later. Never saw it coming.

So, back in 1987 you can imagine what a scandal this caused in my small town. I handled it for about 8 months before I desperately needed a change of scenery. Having always had the itch to get out of my small town, I decided it was time to go for broke. What did I have to lose? I had always dreamed of moving to New York City, so I went....much to the chagrin of my family and what few friends I had left. Amazing how something like this shows who your allies are. Anyway, I found a job as a nanny and took off. I ended up in Connecticut just about a 30 minute train ride outside NYC. Many, many stories could be told of this adventure alone, but that will be saved for another time. ;-)

Two short months after moving back East, I met the man who would start the next chapter in my life. This relationship lasted about 14 years. It was tumultuous at best. One move across the country (back to my hometown) and one restaurant adventure later, we went our separate ways in 2001.
He took all the money........I took the kids.
I won.
Next chapter........

In the past four years I have lost all my grandparents, my favorite aunt, a few friends, had my 41 yr. old brother die in my arms and most recently, last year, my father. As if this hasn't been devastating enough (did I fail to mention Murphy??), I have also been diagnosed with diabetes (severe), fibromyalgia, a heart condition, and most recently, kidney failure. This chapter bites.

So, in a much condensed nutshell, that's me (the nut). And with that all behind us, now there will be time for the fun stuff :-). As my beloved brother would say, Ozzie out....